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    董大爺不老,虛歲41,實際39。年輕的時候貪玩,沒讀幾年書,先是在碼頭當搬運工,后來進了保安公司,做了一名保安,現在年紀大了,托了外甥的關系來蓮城大學做門衛年輕時老董也娶了媳婦,可惜沒兩年就鬧離婚,理由可笑至極:因為老董那話太大太粗太長,一身紫黑膚色,遍體濃毛的老董陽物自然也是紫黑的,倒像個熟透了的大茄子,上面青筋密布,子孫袋上是濃的烏黑一團的長毛,按他媳婦的說法:驢子的也沒這么大,作孽呦。剛結婚那會老董也不知節制,天天要,時時要,興一來就把自家婆娘按倒就操,一天能要七八回,回回四五十分鐘,偏巧他媳婦又是個小女人,個才1米五出頭,小小的溪流哪能是下巨蟒的藏身之所?每天小逼都腫的像桃子,時間一長走路都不利索,干脆離了。老董的大茄子因此斷水了八、九年。老董現在每天最大得的愛好與樂趣就是看大大小小高高矮矮的女大學生女教師們從校門口路過。

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